Two Irishman are lost at sea in a lifeboat. One finds a lamp and rubs it to find a genie who offers them one wish. Before the other can say a word, one of them leaps to his feet and yells, “Make the entire ocean into Guinness!” The genie performs this miracle and vanishes. The … Read more
Now this one is just too Precious… ! Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at … Read more
The pastor stood before the congregation and said; “I have bad news, I have good news, and I have more bad news.” The congregation got quiet. “The bad news is: the church needs a new roof!” the pastor said. The congregation groaned. “The good news is: we have enough money for the new roof.” A … Read more
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, “What was that for?” She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it.” He says, “Jeez, honey, remember last … Read more
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties … Read more
One beautiful sunny day, Buddha walked into one small village. Suddenly, a young man approached him and started offending him. He said: “Who are you to teach the world? You are just as dumb as everyone else, and you are a scammer!” Buddha was not upset by this. He asked the man: If you get … Read more
There was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.’ Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. Whoa there, said the doctor, ‘Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there’s another … Read more
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by … Read more
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day – “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my … Read more
A photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and … Read more
A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport. As she would need to wait for a long time, she decided to buy a book to read and a packet of cookies to snack on. She sat down in an armchair in the VIP room of the airport … Read more
About a hundred years ago, a man looked at the morning newspaper and to his surprise and horror, he read his name in the obituary column. The news papers had reported the death of the wrong person by mistake. His first response was shock. Am I here or there? When he regained his composure, his … Read more