An American couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife. “No, that felt more like snow to me,” she replied. “No, I’m sure it was just rain,” he said. Well, as these things go, they were about … Read more
A man is driving down the highway… … when he sees a shipping truck wrecked on the side of the road, and 25 penguins waddling around outside it. He pulls over and the truck driver tells him, “Quick! You’ve gotta take these birds to the zoo while I wait for AAA!”. The truck driver gives … Read more
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn’t panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her: “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.” Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-plow came by, and she started to … Read more
A chicken walked into a library, went up to the desk and said: ‘book, book, book, book.’ The librarian handed the chicken a book and the bird left. Ten minutes later, the chicken returned, tossed the book on the desk and said: ‘book, book, book, book’. The librarian handed the chicken a different book and … Read more
The Symphony was performing Beethoven’s Ninth. In the piece, there’s a long passage of about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around that whole time, some bass players decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming down several … Read more
Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered. Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used. It … Read more
Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year… … and every year Buddy would say, ‘Edna, I’d like to ride in that helicopter’ Edna always replied, ‘I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks’ One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, … Read more
A group of kindergarteners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana.” “No, … Read more
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and … Read more