Funny Jokes
The Wives’ War… Who’s the Winner?
A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse: He could not control his curiosity and ask. “Do you always carry your TV remote with you?” She replied. “No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because … Read more
Hundred Year Old Twins
A photographer was sent to take the pictures of twin sisters just turning one hundred years old. One of the twins was hard of hearing. The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa and the deaf one said to her twin, “WHAT DID HE SAY?” He said, “WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE … Read more
Only One Kiss Per Yard
Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?” “Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk. “That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.” With expectation and anticipation written all … Read more
Let’s Take Revenge On Him
Johnny discovered his wife was cheating on another guy, So he went to the guy’s wife and told her about it. “I know what we will do”, she said, “Let’s take revenge on him.” So together they went to a motel and had “revenge”. After 10 minutes, she said, “Let’s have “more revenge”, and they … Read more
Vicious Circle
The boss calls his secretary and says, “Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip.” The secretary calls husband and says, “Me and my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of yourself.” The husband calls his girlfriend and says, “My wife is going on a … Read more
Hey Lady, You Are Really Ugly!
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same … Read more
Blarney Stone
A group of Americans are touring Ireland One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining: “The bus seats are uncomfortable, food is terrible, too hot, too cold, accomodation is dreadful…” One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ ya all … Read more
Einstein Is Baffled By This Mans Quizzical Question
Einstein says, “Let’s play a game I will ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you will pay me only $5; but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500”. The man agrees and the game proceeds. Einstein asks the first question, “What is the distance between the … Read more
A Little Old Lady Dropping Money As She Walks
One of the bags was ripped, and every once in awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag you’re dragging”. “Oh, really? Darn it!”, said the old lady “I’d better go back and see if I … Read more
Three Brothers
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after … Read more