A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years … Read more
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn’t come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes “Edna, Ive got some good news … Read more
Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve. Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Many Pathologists yelled, “Over my … Read more
An 85-year-old man was told by the Doctor that he needed a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a sperm sample tomorrow.” The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the … Read more
There was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.’ Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. Whoa there, said the doctor, ‘Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there’s another … Read more
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings, which happened to be on display. “I have good news and bad news,” the gallery owner replied “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.” … Read more
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some … Read more
Once, a mosquito walked into a clinic. The doctor saw him and asked him what the matter was. The mosquito said that he had a lot of problems. He was not happy with his life, he was not happy with the job he was doing. He was sad and had no motivation. The doctor listened … Read more
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him he whispered, eyes full of tears: “You know what? You have been … Read more
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery, and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. “Yes Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t … Read more
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day – “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my … Read more
This story is a hilarious example of just that. An Alabaman went to see a psychiatrist because of his drinking problem. He sat down on the couch in his office, and the psychiatrist asked him, “So, can you tell me the reason why you’re drinking?” The patient took a deep breath and said, “Sure, I … Read more