Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here, you hold this high so I can see what I am doing!’ Soon a baby boy was brought into the world. ‘Whoa there’, said the doctor, ‘Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down, I think there’s … Read more
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds What are you doing here?” The doctor replied, “Remember that lousy real estate … Read more
… who after examining him says, “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay.” So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks, “Do I have to take them every day?” “No,” replies the doctor, “take one on Monday, skip Tuesday, … Read more
“$85 for an extraction, Ma’am,” was the dentists reply. “Och huv ye nay got unythin cheaper,” replies the Scottish lass getting agitated. “But that’s the normal charge for an extraction, Ma’am,” replied the dentist. “What aboot if ye didnae use uny anaesthetic?” asked Maggie hopefully. “Well it’s highly unusual, Ma’am, but if that’s what you … Read more
The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it.” The man continues, “We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best … Read more
A woman takes her 4-year-old son in for his yearly well-child visit to the doctor. The doctor asks the little boy, “Do you know your name?” He tells her yes my name is, “Timmy.” And Timmy, do you know your mom’s name? Yes her name is Mommy, said Timmy. And what is Mommy’s real name … Read more
After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the … Read more
A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he’s liable to break something, but the boy continues: “Johnny!” Mum screams. “Knock it off.” You’re going to break something.” He stops and eventually his mum leaves for a … Read more
A man goes into the doctor feeling a little ill. The doctor checks him over and says, “Sorry, I have some bad news… you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus”. “It’s called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There’s no known cure, so … Read more
A worried young woman went to her doctor and said: “Doctor I’m getting married this weekend and I’ve led my fiancé to believe that I’m still a virgin when in fact I’m not. Is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor said medically, “There’s nothing I can do but there is a … Read more
A woman goes to her doctor for her annual check up. The nurse starts with certain basic items. ‘How much do you weigh?’ she asks ‘Eight and a half stone,’ the woman says. The nurse puts her on the scales and tells; her weight is actually ten stone The nurse asks, ‘Your height?’ ‘5 foot … Read more
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life, had finally retired. At her next checkup, her new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized … Read more